SUDDENLY SOUTHERN
17 MARCH 2005
I've always tried to be an involved parent. You know the kind- attending school functions (even Bandorama, and THAT takes a butt of steel), going to every parent/teacher conference, showing up at all informational meetings, etc etc. So, when the note came home from Max's school that there was going to be an informational meeting for parents about the approaching EOG tests for 3-5 th graders, John and I planned to attend.
A few days later, Katie brought home a note saying that there was an informational meeting for parents about high school registration. Naturally, these meetings were on the same night, at the same time. Luckily, since we are once again a double-parent household (YES!), we could split up the duties. John's more "into" the high school things, so Max and I went to his school for pizza and sodas (we can't say pop down here, you know). After eating, all the kids left for the media center and the adults stayed in the cafeteria for our meeting. There were about 50 adults in the group.
As the principal welcomed people and started to introduce the speakers for the meeting, there was some commotion as people settled in and tried to be comfortable at those ridiculous with the attached seats (have I mentioned this is a K-5 school? LITTLE TABLES.) As things settled down, I started to notice some coughing from the back of the room. And more coughing. LOUD coughing.
Now, as a mother, the first thing I thought to myself was, GEEZ why can't sick people stay home instead of spreading it all around!! I stayed facing forward (it's rude to turn around and glare), and listened to the principal. More coughing. LOTS more coughing, from LOTS more people. The principal has started to look a little alarmed.
Then it hit me. Burning eyes, burning throat, and I can't stop coughing. Not lady-like little coughs, but the kind of coughing that hurts!!! Since I was near the front of the room, by now the principal is VERY concerned, and asking, "WHAT is going on!?" From the back of the room, I hear someone gasp, "Someone sprayed mace!!"
MACE??? At an elementary school parent meeting??? (And, again, it'd be rude to turn around to see exactly which parent back there knows what mace feels like! I sure had no idea.) Several of the parents started for the door, and some teachers opened the doors to let air in. The police officer in the back of the room (it just now occurs to me to wonder why a police officer presence is required at these meetings) made it up to where the principle was standing. I heard him say, "I don't know what's going on - when I heard someone say 'mace,' I checked my holster and mine's there! So nobody took it from me." Ok, buddy, whew - thanks for keeping an eye on that.
Now, by that time my eyes were watering and I was coughing harder, so I followed some of the teachers to the hallway. The air was clearer there! The principle came into the hallway and announced he was moving the meeting to the gymnasium. Cool, let's go, already. Hurry.
The meeting went on with a few jokes about being mace'ed at a parent meeting, and except for the makeup crisis on my eyes from all the tears, I really did enjoy the meeting. I learned a lot, and I'm very glad I went.
(For my teacher friends, EOG testing is a lot like grad standards testing in MN except the testing is based on a statewide pre-determined K-12 curriculum. They really DO teach to the test, but the test is based strictly on what they are teaching the rest of the year, so it loses its bad connotation. I LIKE the idea.)
Max is now pretty impressed with his mother for surviving a Mace Incident (he knows about mace from reading a copy of the Anarchist's Notebook, and I'll let you guess who had THAT laying around when we were packing up the books in the attic bedroom), and I got to tell him that boy, he'd sure better appreciate the hazards I'm willing to endure just to make sure he's getting every benefit of his schooling!
Next time, I'm bringing a gas mask.
